The Zombie Parodies
by Grammar Defender
Summary: Several songs that I have changed rather significantly to fit the zombie apocalypse. Songs include the Java Jive, Africa, and Dancing Queen. Rated for gore and... y'know... zombies.
1. The Zombie Jive

Author's Note – These are several songs which I have collected, learned, and changed to fit with the zombie apocalypse. Go Team Zombie, as the saying goes. I may or may not end up adding additional chapters as I add parodies. Also, the songs get a bit repetitive (Brains, zombies, getting eaten, blah blah blah), so sorry about that. Enjoy and review!

Disclaimer – I own not [the song] Africa, nor The Java Jive, nor any other of the songs that parody. For that matter I don't own the continent Africa either, but that is simply not the point.

Now, without further ado, I present to you

~The Zombie Parodies~

~A Parody of The Java Jive~

I love zombies, they love brains

They're made of oozing pus and dead remains

Shoot them a shot and stop they will not

'Cause zombies are real hard to kill they're dead (Brains!).

I love zombies sweet they're not

Better watch out or you'll end up in their pot

If brains you don't got, then worry you'll not

'Cause zombies won't eat things unless they're brains.

I'd rather a thug or a bug or a jug

Before the zombies find me here in this rug

A sliced up brain and a raw one

Yum yum!

Zombie, zombie, Abercrombie

I love zombies, they love brains

They're made of oozing pus and dead remains

Shoot them a shot and stop the will not

'Cause zombies are real hard to kill they're dead.

Boston brains (no brains)

Rome brains (all pillars and grains)

I'm in pain when they eat my brains

But zombies are still really really cool! (Brains!)

I love zombies sweet they're not

Better watch out or you'll end up in their pot

If brains you don't got, then worry you'll not

'cause zombies won't eat things unless they're brains.

I'd rather a thug or a bug or a jug

Before the zombies find me here in this rug

A sliced up brain and a raw one

Yum yum!

Zombie, zombie, Abercrombie

I love zombies, they love brains

They're made of oozing pus and dead remains

Shoot them a shot and stop the will not

'Cause zombies are real hard to kill they're dead. (Brains!)


	2. Zombies in Africa

Author's Note – Reading the real lyrics might help you enjoy this song, or possibly listening to it. The Toto version of this song is definitely the best (none of this modernized nonsense – they _sing_ it!). I sang it in choir, but in one performance my tongue slipped and I ended up singing 'I bless the brains down in Africa' rather than the proper 'rains.' And thus this parody was born.

Disclaimer – I do not own the song Africa.

~Zombies in Africa~

~Parody of Africa~

I hear them moaning in the night;

Shambling, gruesome creatures of damnation,

They're coming for me at midnight,

Their rotten limbs outstretched they will soon end this odd narration.

They ate and old man along the way

Hoping to improve their nutrition and give them energy.

Now they are coming down this way!

Hurry, boy, or they will consume you.

It's gonna take a lot to drag them away from you.

There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do.

I bless the brains down in Africa!

Gonna take some time to eat those brains that you had.

Those zombie folks will eat your brains tonight,

For they don't care much for the thing that's called solitary company.

I know that I must do what's right

And save you from these undead monsters that are called zombies.

But still I find that deep inside, I still really really want to run.

It's gonna take a lot to drag them away from you.

There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do.

I bless the brains down in Africa!

Gonna take some time to eat those brains that you had.

Hurry boy, or they will consume you.

It's gonna take a lot to drag them away from you.

There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do.

I bless the brains down in Africa!

I bless the brains down in Africa!

I bless the brains down in Africa!

I bless the brains down in Africa!

I bless the brains down in Africa!

Gonna take some time to eat those brains that you had.


	3. Zombie Queen

Author's Note – I have about five parodies of this song tucked away, including 'Sailing Queen,' 'Writing Queen,' 'Adding Queen,' and, of course, 'Zombie Queen.' Enjoy.

Disclaimer – I have no ownership over any Abba songs, including Dancing Queen.

~Zombie Queen~

~Parody of Dancing Queen~

You can't run, you can't hide,

Fleeing zombies for your life,

Friday night and the moaning's low.

You should look for a place to go.

Where the zombies fid you, you will be in pain

They came to find a brain.

Anyone could have that head.

They'll chew on you and then you're dead.

Even with rock music everything's not fine

Unless you have a lance.

And when you get the chance…

You are the zombie queen!

Rotting feet and a bloated spleen.

Zombie queen, you won't be beat; hear your victuals scream

You can't run,

You can't hide,

Fleeing zombies for your life.

Eat that girl, hear that scream,

Diggin' the zombie queen.

You're a teaser you turn them on.

They eat your brains and then you're gone.

Looking out for another,

Anyone will do

They do their zombie dance.

Their prey will breath their last…

Because you're the zombie queen!

Rotting feet and a bloated spleen.

Zombie queen, you won't be beat; hear your victuals scream

You can't hide,

Fleeing zombies for your life.

Eat that girl, hear that scream,

Diggin' the zombie queen.


	4. The Zombie of the Opera

Author's Note – I really do like the music of The Phantom of the Opera. The plot sucks (it's like Twilight except with adults and singing – and really really good music), but I just love [most] of the music. And the addition of zombies only adds to it, in my opinion. As for the uranium down in the second verse, hey – I needed _something_ to rhyme with 'cranium.'

Disclaimer – Once again, I own nothing of relevance.

~The Zombie of the Opera~

~Parody of The Phantom of the Opera~

ME

At night they came for me

And caused me pain.

They came into my house and ate my brain

And now I've joined their cause, for now I find

The zombie of the opera came here

To eat my mind.

ZOMBIE OF THE OPERA

Come now and eat with me

This cranium.

You are undead, you see.

Uranium

Is pretty useless for us zombie folks.

The zombie of the opera is running out of jokes.

ME

I don't wish to be rude

Or very mean,

But having been zombified

has turned me green.

That wasn't very nice,

And now I'm mad,

'Cause turning innocents into undead

Is very bad.

ZOMBIE OF THE OPERA

Don't be an idiot –

Zombies are good;

They get to use people

As yummy food.

Grr arrg blahg uurgle brains!

Urmf grhahk arrind;

The zombie of the opera is here eating your Mind!


	5. Nursery Rhymes for the Undead

Author's Note – Is it crude? A bit, perhaps. But I just couldn't resist putting it in. Also, because it's so phenomenally short, I decided to put in two parodies in this 'chapter.' Enjoy and, as always, review!

~Brains, Brains~

~Parody of Beans, Beans~

Brains, brains, they're good for your heart;

The more you eat the less you rot;

The less you rot, the better you feel.

Let's have brains at every meal!

…

~Zombie Porgie~

~Parody of Georgie Porgie~

Evil zombie with no eyes

Ate the girls an made the cry.

When they boys came out to play,

They saw zombie and ran away.


End file.
